If big Jesus returns, what magic trick would you like to see him do?
April 2, 2009 · Filed Under Religion & Spirituality
buckshot asked:
cos Criss Angel could walk on water and David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty vanish. Best Jesus could do was to feed five thousand people and the Salvation Army does that on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
cos Criss Angel could walk on water and David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty vanish. Best Jesus could do was to feed five thousand people and the Salvation Army does that on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Any ideas for some new tricks for the big J-man?
collectible webkinz
Comments
20 Responses to “If big Jesus returns, what magic trick would you like to see him do?”
Leave a Reply
trade show items
Create peace on earth. Permanently.
funny fortune cookies
I’d ask him to censor yahoo answers for stupid questions.
big brother sex tape
I want to see him Drink the ocean!
trade gold
I’d like to see him make all of the Christians disappear
phone ringtones
World peace springs to mind…
home theater equipment
Perhaps he could make himself vanish. Not all that impressive, but it’s the thought that counts.
wine making equipment
I’d be impressed if he could elevate the tone of discourse on YA R&S. Even Chris Angel and David Copperfield couldn’t do that.
custom imprinted pens
do you see what these “magicians” are doing? they are tricking people into thinking that everything is just magic, with no supernatural origin to back up the acts. This is exactly how satan is fooling people into thinking that jesus christ is a fake, don’t be decieved, Jesus Christ is the truth!!
trade silver
If he could make my dog “SIT” I would be stand behind any initiatives the BIG JESUS came up with.
comic book buyers
I’d like to see him pull your head out of your a s s.
wordpress review plugin
Go to hell……..oh, yeah, I forgot! You will!
wordpress review plugin
“Big” Jesus as opposed to “Little” Jesus?
“Big J-man”?
What kind of stupid talk is that? Matter of fact the whole question is moronic, sophomoric and immature.
trade the qqq
I would like to see the “crap that shouldn’t float-float’” genre of trick doing.You know,like the Golden Gate bridge.
trade silver
That water into wine thing was really great. I’d like to see him turn water into rum, though.
trade gold
I really don’t care for your attitude, and you don’t really deserve an answer. Jesus never dealt in Magic of any kind. Can David Coppefield save your soul? And there are hundreds of volunteers help the Salvation Army feed the hungry, and if you ask them, they will readily admit it. Now, please if you don’t mind, go to some other site and agitate them.
trade silver
I will ask JESUS to fill all the human’s heart with knowledge of GOD and love.
kayaking equipment
This is an incredibly stupid question from a like mind. I do hope and pray you come to your senses before the big send off, or if you don’t it could be a little send off and a hot time in the old pit tonight and for the rest of eternity.
comic book buyers
It is not magic our lord and savior Jesus Christ powers come from our father who is in heaven,look Copperfield and angel never raised no one from the dead,but Jesus did he raised Lazarus from the dead,now let me see Copperfield or angel try that,I know they can’t do it,because a illusion has it limitations,but my father who is in heaven powers are limitless,cause God is all powerful.
trade show items
As for Satan — you really know Bible. Jesus is coming back to take the Christians out of this world and the others will be left behind for the real satan (and I don’t think it is YOU).
trade silver
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS
Sunday Morning Commentary.
Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating
heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the
cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and
kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never
know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life
if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so
important?
I don’t know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care at all about
Tom Cruise’s wife.
Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a
subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are.
If this is what it means to be no longer young. It’s not so bad.
Next confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does
not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up,
bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don’t feel threatened. I don’t feel
discriminated against. That’s what they are: Christmas trees.
It doesn’t bother me a bit when people say, “Merry Christmas” to me. I
don’t think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto.
In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters
celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn’t bother me at all that there
is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in
Malibu. If people want a creche, it’s just as fine with me as is the
Menorah a few hundred yards away.
I don’t like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don’t think
Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people
who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I
have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly
atheist country. I can’t find it in the Constitution, and I don’t like it
being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we
should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren’t allowed to worship God as we
understand Him?
I guess that’s a sign that I’m getting old, too.
But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came
from and where the America we knew went to.
In light of the many jokes w e send to one another for a laugh, this is a
little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it’s not funny, it’s
intended to get you thinking.
Billy Graham’s daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson
asked her “How could God let something like this Happen?” (regarding
Katrina)
Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said,
“I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years
we’ve been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our
government and to get out of our lives.
And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can
we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He
leave us alone?”
In light of recent events…terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I
think it started when Madeleine Murray O’Hare (she was murdered, her body
found recently) complained she didn’t want prayer in our sch ools, and we
said OK.
Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says
thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as
yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn’t spank our children when they
misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might
damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock’s son committed suicide). We said an
expert should know what he’s talking about and we said OK.
Now we’re asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they
don’t know right from wrong, and why it doesn’t bother them to kill
strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out.
I think it has a great deal to do with “WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.”
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the
world’s going to hell.
Funny how we believe what the ne wspapers say, but question what the Bible
says.
Funny how you can send ‘jokes’ through e-mail and they spread like wildfire
but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice
about sharing.
Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through
cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and
workplace.
Are you laughing?
Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on
your address list because you’re not sure what they believe, or what they
will think of you for sending it.
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than
what God thinks of us.
From Paul Harvey:
I don’t believe in Santa Claus, but I’m not going to sue
somebody for singing a Ho-Ho-Ho song in December. I
don’t agree with Darwin, but I didn’t go out and hire a
lawyer when my high school teacher taught his theory
of evolution.
Life, liberty or your pursuit of happiness will not be
endangered because someone says a 30-second prayer
before a football game.
So what’s the big deal? It’s not like somebody is up there
Reading the entire book of Acts. They’re just talking to a
God they believe in and asking him to grant safety to the
Players on the field and the fans going home from the game.
But it’s a Christian prayer, some will argue.
Yes, and this is the United States of America, a country
Founded on Christian principles. According to our very
own phone book, Christian churches outnumber all others
Better than 200-to-1. So what would you expect-somebody
Chanting Hare Krishna?
If I went to a football game in Jerusalem,
I would expect to hear a Jewish prayer.
If I went to a soccer game in Baghdad,
I would expect to hear a Muslim prayer.
If I went to a ping pong match in China,
I would expect to hear someone pray to Buddha.
And I wouldn’t be offended.
It wouldn’t bother me one bit.
When in Rome .
But what about the atheists? is another argument.
What about them?
Nobody is asking them to be baptized. We’re not going to
pass the collection plate. Just humor us for 30 seconds. If
that’s asking too much, bring a Walkman or a pair of ear
plugs. Go to the bathroom. Visit the concession stand.
Call your lawyer!
Unfortunately, one or two will make that call. One or
two will tell thousands what they can and cannot do.
I don’t think a short prayer at a football game is
going to shake the world’s foundations.
Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other
cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights. Our
parents and grandparents taught us to pray before
eating; to pray before we go to sleep.
Our Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. Now a
handful of people and their lawyers are telling us
to cease praying.
God, help us.
And if that last sentence offends you,
well .. just sue me.